Congratulations, you’re the parent of a brand-new beautiful bouncing pupper!
After weeks of research, planning and buying more doggy accessories than you can physically fit in your house (some of which are an entire mystery as to their function) you finally have a fur-baby you can call your own.
Your life now has two distinct periods: BC (before canine) and AD (after dog) and you’ll hardly recognise the BC person you used to be.
Here’s a collection of some of the best lessons your new furry friend will teach you:
1. Your evening’s entertainment will no longer be limited to what’s on ITVBe. The period between 8-9pm will be known as ‘crazy hour’ where your puppy will run around your lounge like a complete loon, before finally passing out cold.
2. When someone shows off about their dog, you’ll start feeling a bit impatient because you’re not getting a chance to talk about yours.
3. Your puppy will frequently put things it shouldn’t in its mouth. This is inevitably going to be the thing you most need or at a time when you most need to leave the house. When it does, and you ask it what it has, its teeth will lock together tighter than a clam with lockjaw and it’ll chew faster than ever.
4. Saying goodbye to your beautiful puppy in the morning will take so long you actually end up late for work.
5. When sat on the sofa, your socks will rarely stay on your feet.
6. You’ll soon realise that there’s no sound quite as adorable as puppy sneezes…
7…apart from puppy snores
8. Puppies will want to introduce everyone they meet to their soggy stuffed animal friend.
9. There are around 7 billion dog Instagram accounts, and you will follow all of them.
10. There’s an entirely new internet language called ‘doggo’ (that you’re now going to be fluent in).
11. Bonfire night will no longer the fun event it used to be.
12. Alarms are redundant.
13. As are vacuum cleaners.
14. It’s almost impossible to resist a puppy’s cute head tilt…
15…and they can quite literally control you with their eyes
16. Other dogs will never be quite as cute as yours, and you’ll secretly judge them for it
17. There’s no pride quite like when your puppy learns something for the first time.
18. People will start wondering whether the rest of your family are okay as the only person ever to get a mention on your social feed will be the puppy.
19. Those crazy pageant mums who plough all their hope, money and time into their daughters and discard their own beauty, are now totally relatable.
20. Talking to your puppy as if it understands everything you say will become completely normal (because it CAN understand everything you say).
21. The only ambitions to have in life will be: to get more dogs, to buy a big house for dogs, to find lovely parks to walk dogs in, to find a partner who loves dogs as much as you.
22. Toilet paper is an amazing toy with a multitude of fascinating purposes, like being shredded all over the floor.
23. It’s difficult to decide on a name that will befit your beautiful baby, but it doesn’t matter because you’ll never call them by their real name anyway. Instead you’ll have several nicknames that get weirder and more elaborate as time goes on: Molly > Molly Woo-woo > Woo-woo > Woozer > Lady Woozington.
24. Puppy paw pads are incredibly soft and squidgy.
25. Talking at length to other dog owners, even if you’ve only just met them, is okay, because you’re all part of the same club now.
26. Puppies want to see what they look like after you’ve taken a picture of them, so you’ll show them your phone.
27. It’s okay to turn down social invitations because you’d rather be at home with your new best friend.
28. Favourite shoes will regularly go missing, before turning up again slobbery and slightly chewed.
29. Puppies eat. A lot.
30. Meals can never be eaten in peace again.
31. Dogs actually DO smile.
We’d love to know which of these lessons you relate to the most – find us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and tell us all about your adventures with your newest little bundle of fun.
And if adventures are your thing…check out our collection of stunning dog-friendly properties in some of the most beautiful parts of the UK, like this cute little shepherd’s hut tucked away in the Brecon Beacons. With miles of off-road dog-walks and several dog-friendly pubs and restaurants nearby, this will be an experience you’ll all enjoy! >